The Allen Almanac

I hate job interviews. Not that that is exactly a unique reaction to them, but they really get to me. I get so nervous and start stammering and searching for answers that should just come right to me. I know that I never give a good impression of myself but I feel completely powerless to do any better. The weird thing is that I always feel completely fine until I sit down in that chair. I always expect that this time it won’t happen. But it always does.

I had job interview this afternoon. There was a question like, “What programming project you have worked on are you most proud of?” And I drew a complete blank. I couldn’t think of a single project I had ever worked on. I almost kinda remembered something about a project I did 5 years ago and tried to stammer out few details from it but failed miserably. And from that point on I was knocked way off my game.

I don’t like feeling so out of control over my own life. I’m sitting there thinking, “This stranger, who is going to speak to me for all of an hour, has the power to determine the course of the rest of my life.” Isn’t that a scary thought? For some reason today’s interview especially scared the crap out of me. I have felt ill all evening. I had some rum earlier that calmed me down but now it is wearing off and I am beginning to feel really nervous again.

Oh well, one day I’ll start my own company and then I’ll get to randomly decide the fate of my applicants.