The Allen Almanac

Hell’s Handmaiden pointed me to this story of one man’s attempt to love his daughter as much as God loves his children:

On the day my daughter was born, I knew that nothing but the best would do for her. I decided that I’d give her the same love and support that God has given us, his human children, during our lifetimes.

So I built a special room for her with a one-way mirror and an intercom system. I filled it with the things she would need — furniture, toys, and special TV monitors on which I could show her lots of educational and inspirational programming. Then I sealed her inside her room.

I think I see where this is going..

I got every early-childhood educational tape I could find and showed them constantly on the monitors. She learned to walk and talk in only a few years just by watching the monitors. She learned from prerecorded messages how much I loved and cared for her; that she was my pride and joy; and that she needed only to ask me for anything she wanted. She learned to use the intercom system to talk to me about her desires, her fears, her thoughts on life, and her questions. Of course I never answered her, but sometimes I would sneak into the room while she was asleep and give her something nice. She always used the intercom to thank me later.

When she was about ten years old, I sneaked into her room while she was sleeping and took away all her toys and furniture (I had a reason for this, but it’s very complex). She cried for a whole week. She must have asked “why?” (over the intercom) about a hundred times, but of course I never answered. She was only ten years old, and there’s no way she could understand the reasons behind my decision, so why bother explaining?

It continues on like this. Read on and find out how much God truly loves us.